Reblog: CODE BROWN: The Jelly Bean Incident

Guys….you have to read this weeks post from The Mother Octopus! I promise you, you will laugh so hard you’ll cry!

The Mother Octopus

Long before our girl Oprah was doing yoga in a black spandex onesie on her lawn, I was on Weight Watchers. I loved it because I was on a diet but I could still have junk food. I was like a CIA operative when it came to finding sweet, guilt-free treats that I could fit into my daily points. Until one day when my skills backfired. Literally. Like, fire came out of my backside.

oprah-loves-bread Settle down, O. We got it.

It was a gorgeous, sunny, summer Friday and I was scheduled to head home from my publishing job in Manhattan at 1:00. I’d been good on my diet all week so I decided to hit up Duane Reade on the way to work to do some WW friendly intel in the candy aisle. I spotted a small bag of Jelly Belly Sugar-Free SOURS and flipped over the bag to check out the calories. It was 200…

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Reblog: Why I Can Never Show My Face at the Gym Pool Again.

Katey is a hilarious mommy blogger who wrote this horrific yet humorous post! Check her out! I’m really loving The Mother Octopus!

The Mother Octopus

I’m warning you. It’sa true story and it’s pretty gross.

I’d pretty much blocked out this entire incident until a friend asked for some info about my gym, including a question about the pool. And then I remembered. That pool. That goddamn pool.

It brought me right back to Spring 2010. My son was about 5 weeks old and I joined the local Gold’s Gym to train for a half marathonI’d signed up for that fall. I figured it’d be a great way to burn off the 40 lbs I put on while pregnant. It was a new gym, close to home, with daycare. Sign me up.

giphy Oh yay. I love exercise. Not an avid swimmer, I had no real intention of ever using that goddamn pool. I could swim as a means to NOT DROWN but there was no actual technique or grace involved. Regardless,a couple of weeks into…

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Reblog: Money

I usually share my favorite posts on Tuesday and I already have one from this mama all set up for this coming up week, but I read this post and I just had to share it. This post right here is real and honest. I feel you on this one, mama!

Momma on the Edge

imageBrace yourselves lovelies…Momma is about to get all philosophical on your ass!

I was woken up by my husband at o’dark thirty this morning because he can’t seem to get ready for work without sounding like he’s building a house. #wifeproblems

Half asleep I came downstairs, mixed up my magic coffee potion and came out to my porch to assume my normal morning position. It was pitch black out because much to my dismay, I was up before the sun.

Being groggy and drinking my delicious coffee got me thinking about life and how twisted it is. How the average American works their ass off and barely scrapes by. How our lives our controlled by the almighty dollar. Sure we love our family and friends and what have you. But we are all hamsters on a wheel, chasing money to pay for material bullshit.

Do I know how to…

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Reblog: Throwback Thursday ~ Why Does Marriage Take A Lot Of Work

Wonderful post that rings with truth!

Domesticated Momster

#marriage #work #relationships

I wrote this post about a year ago.  I made a few revisions and it’s my pick for Throwback Thursday.

My friend Rod over at Modern Dad Pages wrote a piece recently that got me to thinking and wanting to respond in my own way to his question of “Why Do We Say Marriage Is A Lot Of Work?”  He inspired me to want to write a blog post about it rather than leave a 600word essay message  in his comments.

Definition of work: Activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result. This is according to a google search.  It’s also the same definition in which Rod used.  Google is a popular place…no wonder their stock price is 660.06 a share and up $24 at this moment.  Oh wait I was talking about marriage here….

UPDATE: Google today is worth…

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Reblog of a Facebook Find

Scrolling through Facebook and I stumbled across this post from a mother of five. I ended up in tears sobbing by the end of the post. Times like these make me hug my munchkins a little tighter and let go of the things that aren’t really that important. 

Here is Ashley Grimm’s story:
As some of you know, I have gone through every mother’s worst fear. On June 2nd, I lost my youngest son in a horrible car accident. I was driving. I had pulled away from a gas station, checking each buckle, and I began to drive the curvy, mountainous road to my family’s house. My son was notorious for doing everything he could to unbuckle in the car (“The Flash doesn’t wear a seatbelt, and I’m the Flash, mama”) We tried five point harness seats, boosters, I believe even zip ties at one point (probably not safe either) but he always viewed it as a superhero challenge. He was a superhero because he always succeeded. On average, I would usually pull over three or four times on any given trip to firmly make him buckle up again.  We were only five minutes out when a large rock rolled into my lane. I had three choices: try to straddle the rock, move to the oncoming lane which was a double line large curve with an angry river at the other side. Rock, head on collision, river. I chose the rock. I chose wrong. And yes, he had already unbuckled along with his 8 year old brother. (They were switching spots and I didn’t know.) The rock hit my axle, and sent us plummeting into the side of a cliff. Our 13 passenger van rolled and my son was instantly gone. Our lives were instantly ripped apart. The little boy who had been my pride and joy was cruelly taken from me in a matter of seconds. I remember being smashed between my console (no airbag engaged) and our three ton van. I had blood everywhere. I fought and fought and then blacked out. When I awoke, I was unbuckling my baby from her car seat (she was upside down) and working to get each child (5 of my children were with me) out of the van. When I came to Titus I worked with all my might to lift the heavy van off his tiny body. My 8 year old son was trying to help me. I could only see the lower half of his body. I rubbed his tummy and tried gentle compressions. But he was already gone. It was instantaneous, which only brings me comfort because I know he felt no pain. What followed was a blur. I refused treatment from the paramedics until they let me hold my dead son. All my children were whipped away and taken to an ambulance to be cared for. I was life flighted and sedated, for the shock made me inconsolable. It was two days later that I saw it all over Facebook. A news report reporting the death of my child as if they were reporting that the weather might change, or a new planet had been discovered. I was thankful they reported that no drugs or alcohol had been a factor. But that’s not what hurt. The readers commented the cruelest things about how horrible of a mother I was. How I deserved it. How my children should be taken from me. I wanted to punch them, shake them. Tell them how close we were, how hard I fought to keep him safe. How we had a special good night kiss and a designated McDonald’s date each week. I wanted to scream that he always told me he wanted to marry me, that I was the best mama ever. That he built me Lego ships, took naps in my bed while holding my hand with his dimpled little fingers. 
But no one would have listened anyway. I feel led to write this to all you Mamas because I have a longing to look each of you in the eyes and tell you this: “Hold your babies tight”. That’s all I want to shout to the world. 
I’m not who I once was; death and loss changes a person from the inside out. 
I have held my dead sons body in the middle of a highway while I rocked him and screamed – no ordered God to bring him back.
-I have chosen a funeral plot for my four year old boy as I contemplated jumping from the cliff the cemetery overlooks just so I could be where he is. 
-I have purchased a 200 dollars superhero outfit for my son to wear as he decomposes in the earth. 
-I have kissed a corpse over and over and wept as I traced over every feature of his ice cold face and held his still dimpled, but lifeless hands. 
-I have slept in a cemetery just to try and take one more nap with him. I talk to the dirt. To the ground where he lies with his lovey blanket and his avengers outfit. 
And what I want to say (if you’ve read this far, you’re so patient and so kind) is this. And you can share it with any mama you know. 
– maybe finishing broccoli at dinner isn’t as important as we might think. Watch how your children eat, soak in their hatred for corn (oh how Titus hated corn). Maybe they can still have ice cream – even just sometimes – while those veggies still sit on their plate. 
-learn to pretend. Get into their world. Learn to play the Xbox with them. Embrace their beautiful, fleeting imagination. Let them really believe that they are Captain America or Queen Elsa. Get in their mind, see how they tick. The dishes will still be there. 
– take every hug and kiss they bring you – even the twenty fifth one they use just to get out of bed at night. And really squeeze them. 
-stop and look at the bugs, the rocks, the sticks, the sunset. Slow down mama, slow down. 
– tell them you love them. But look in their eyes and say it like you mean it. Tell them they can do anything – anything they set their mind to. 
-yes, we must hold them accountable but sometimes- maybe grace is the answer. Maybe, just maybe, they won’t end up ruined if we let some things slide. 
-never judge another mama. We don’t know the whole story, we don’t know. We just don’t know. 
-Go hug your babies right now. Soak in their smell, look at the innocent sparkle in their eyes that is lost somewhere between childhood and adulthood. Really feel how they squeeze you. Set down your phone and see them through the lens of your eyes not only the lens of your camera. Remember the feeling of their head on your shoulder, their hand in yours, their sloppy kisses on your cheeks. Nurse them one more time. Sleep is overrated. Listen five minutes longer about Star Wars, minecraft and Disney princesses. 

Mamas, hold your children tight. How blessed you are to have been entrusted with such unique, beautiful, tiny humans. 
From my heart to yours, 

Ashley

Reblog: DIY – Coconut Salt Scrubs

Amazing recipe! Love being able to give gifts I’ve made!

Life At 30 Something

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a huge fan of coconut oil, and I also love crafting.With that being said, when my cousin and I were fishing for ideas for a favor for her bridal shower, coconut oil salt scrub was one of the first things that came to mind. I love this as a gift idea, because you can make many of them quickly and when you make them in bulk, they average out to be less than $1.50 each. They are perfect for bridal or baby showers, gifts for clients or co-workers, or as a cheap treat to yourself! We used lavender and lemon essential oils in ours, although it is not necessary. Peppermint or vanilla essential oils are also great in this recipe, especially if you are making them as Christmas gifts!

The recipe for 1- 4 ounce container is below.

1 ounce of coconut…

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