It’s the Little Things

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I was talking with my Dad earlier last week and he asked me what I had going on the following week. I mentioned that Matt was leaving for Florida on Monday afternoon until Thursday night, so the kids were going to be my little Valentines this year. “Valentine’s Day is next week?” He said. “I better go buy Marilyn flowers on Thursday.”

He says these things every year. My dad is very much against Hallmark holidays and to him Valentine’s Day is one of those. “I don’t need a special reason to buy my wife flowers, so that’s why I’m going to do it on a Thursday. And when she asks me why I bought her flowers I’m going to say, because it’s Thursday.” He’s a funny man, but he has a very valid point. Who needs a certain day out of the year to tell their significant other that they love them? You should be showing your love in your own way every day anyways. At least that’s what I think a relationship should be like.

I’m not saying “bah humbug” to the whole thing, I love LOVE. I love talking about love, I love being in love, I love sharing my love, I truly just love to love. I love writing my husband little notes throughout the year and sticking them in his work bag or showing up at the kid’s school to pick them up on a hot day with slurpees waiting for them in the back seat. I love being able to find little knick-knack’s in a store and giving it to a friend just because it reminded me of them. To me, that means more than a box of Russell Stover chocolates and over priced flowers.

I love a good love letter though. Something truly from the heart. My husband knows that a heartfelt love letter inside a card means more to me than anything he could buy. So when he was getting ready to leave for Florida I went out and bought him a silly Valentine’s Day card, wrote a poem inside, then stuck it in his luggage. I figured he had so much on his plate this week that a card was probably the last thing on his mind, oh but was I wrong. I went to put on my sweats last night and laying on my pillow was a pink card addressed to me.


You are my beginning, middle, and end of my story! You are my all and everything. All we have accomplished lately is truly awesome. Being together, doing together. You are the love of my life, my best friend, soul mate, and partner in crime. You are my Valentine, Mrs Valentino! I love you very much.

Love Always,


*cue the water works*

Even though I don’t “believe” in the huge gift giving, chocolates, and flowers on Valentine’s Day — I’m truly thankful I have a man who knows exactly what I do want, words that come straight from the heart. And if he was here, we would be spending it on the couch, in our sweats, watching Netflix with a cold craft beer.

What are your thoughts about Valentine’s Day? Are you a big celebrator or do you keep it low key?

A Sunday Hymn


Growing up Sunday’s were always all about church. We would all pile into the mini van and head to Sunday Sacrament that began at 9 AM and went until noon. The five of us would file down the pew and I would look up next to the organ to see what the hymns were. Every Sunday I would look up and check if my favorite hymns were chosen. My all time favorite is How Great Thou Art. Every time I sang this hymn in church I could feel the presence of God around me and the warmth of love surrounding me.

I’ve heard the song redone by many artist and choirs. I’m going to have to say that Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill’s version is hands down the best. You can feel her belief in every word she sings. It’s exactly what I needed to hear this Sunday.

For some reason I felt the need to share this with you all today. Just a feeling I have. Maybe someone out there needed to hear this hymn today too.

O Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

And when I think of God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation
And lead me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow with humble adoration,
And then proclaim, “My God, how great Thou art!”

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Goodbye Toxins, Hello Healthy Living


Every day the kids are here they argue over who gets to pick out the essential oils and put them into my diffuser. James usually goes for the calming oils like Stress Away (lime and vanilla), Frankincense, Thieves, and Lavender. Jordan goes straight for the citrus and fresh smelling oils like Lemon, Joy (reminds me of fresh citrus linens), Peppermint, and Tea Tree. I think the oils they pick really says a lot about who they are and how they feel, and if you knew these two you would totally get why they like the smells of each one.


Essential Oils. They have been around for centuries but not in the way we are seeing them now. I personally use the Young Living brand of oils because they just work better for me and my family. I have never been a real believer in all natural remedies or “riding out” a sickness. My mom is in the medical field and medicine was how all our sicknesses, aches, and pains were solved. I had been eyeballing essential oils for the past year and for Mother’s Day I got my very first starter kit with 13 different essential oils and essential oil blends (Blends are different single based oils all put into one bottle). I was more stoked about how they smelled. I really didn’t think too much into how to make them help our family in our daily lives.

I live in Michigan and the winters here can get extremely cold. Which in return gives me a massive headache. I would pop three tylenol or advil every few hours to subside the pain. It just became a routine of mine every winter. My girlfriend who sold me my oils told me to try Peppermint oil on my temples and behind my ear when my headache would start. The next time a headache came on I put the Peppermint where she told me to and within 10 minutes my headache was gone. Poof. Like magic. You’ve got to be kidding me. I couldn’t believe that a simple oil could take away my headache faster than a pill and not to mention I’m not putting toxins in my body.

I started to read about each of the oils and did research on what they could do to help me and my family. I found out that my Thieves oil that James loves so much kills 99.9% of bacteria and can be used as a cleaning disinfectant. The Joy oil that Jordan always picks out helps lift your mood and kick the cranky feeling. The list goes on and on but essential oils can pretty much be substituted for all toxic products that you use.


A month ago we had an instance where Jordan had lice. We didn’t know she had lice and her mom and I both thought she just had a dry scalp. (It is winter and all) When we got home from dinner that night I decided to do a coconut oil and tea tree oil treatment on her hair for the dry scalp. I went downstairs to switch over the laundry and when I came back up I looked over at Jordan and she had tiny bugs crawling down her forehead. I screamed. (of course I screamed, I know, real grown up Jessica) Which in return made Jordan scream, Matt about lost his mind, and James started to inch further away from his sister on the couch. We got a magnifying glass and looked at the bug close up. It was lice. But wait a minute. What made the lice start running out of her hair? Low and behold it was the Tea Tree oil mixed with the coconut oil. I called my girlfriend and she was amazed at how quickly the Tea Tree oil worked. Come to find out, Tea Tree oil suffocates lice and kills them within minutes.  We continued with the essential oil treatment until the morning, then I bought the lice shampoo with the comb. When I began to go through her hair I couldn’t find anymore live lice. I think I found like one more, but that was after combing through her hair for THREE hours. The Tea Tree did it’s job and I didn’t HAVE to dump the lice shampoo on her head but per everyone else’s request, I did. After that instance, not one person in this house questions the powers of Mom’s essential oils.

My favorite experiment with essential oils was adding Cedarwood oil to my shampoo. No matter how hard I try I cannot grow my hair out. I have very fine hair and it ends up just looking stringy when I try for a long do. I read on Pinterest that if you add a few drops of Cedarwood oil to your shampoo when you wash it, it will promote healthier hair growth. To me, this was the ultimate essential oil test. A month went by and my hair not only felt healthier but it felt thicker and was growing! It usually takes a full year to see a difference in my hair length and within a few month my friends were commenting on how amazing my hair looked. They were right too, my hair had a total transformation and I owed all the credit to my Cedarwood oil.


I’ve been wanting to write a post about essential oils for awhile now. I have seen them work right before my eyes and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I took a pill or medicine for a headache, body ache, hair growth, cold, or even cramps. I use my essential oils religiously, and they work! I’m not trying to sell you anything but I wanted to let you in on a secret I feel like I know about.

Does anyone else use essential oils? What oils are your favorite? What are your testimonies?! Have you been on the fence about oils but don’t know where to start? Tell me more!


It’s Our Year

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This week I don’t have to go into work. We had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the munchkins and then they headed to their mom’s house for a week. We picked them up Monday morning and we have them until Wednesday morning when they get dropped off at school. Our break routines are always fair and split in half unless otherwise talked about with the other set of parents.

It gets really quiet in the house when both of them aren’t there. I end up having conversations with our dog, and realize I’m getting frustrated that he isn’t answering me. Days the kids aren’t at our house are days that I work. When they are here, those are my days off for the week. Well, last week I didn’t really have time to even notice if the kids were here or not because more often than not I was at work, getting my butt kicked. Which is why I am totally happy that I don’t have to run around on my feet for another 40+ hours this week. I at least hit 10,000 steps one night at work, so there’s that!

My emotions have been all over the place this week. I’m anxious because we are taking having a baby more serious this year. Last year my husband had a vasectomy reversal and the doctor said that everything went great. A year later, still no baby. We aren’t keeping to a certain schedule, but we are actively trying to get pregnant. In a few weeks we are going to Indiana to get some tests done and see what is going on and to make sure everything is working properly. I haven’t talked about this much on my blog because I truly didn’t want to get my hopes up. When getting a vasectomy reversal there is no 100% guarantee that you will get pregnant, but it gives you a chance, and a chance is all that we are looking for.

I never wanted kids growing up, yet here I am, praying to God every night to get pregnant. “You know you’re still a mother even if we don’t have a baby of our own, right?”, my husband reminds me of that every day and I understand that he is right. but it’s still an extremely hard pill to swallow. I know James and Jordan see me as a mother to them. I know they love me more than words could describe and I know they KNOW that I am always here for them, no matter what. But how amazing would it be to have a mini version of my husband and I to join in on all of this amazing fun we have as a family?! That is what I want, we want, and this year will be our year to find out how we will make this dream come to life.


The Good Kind of Karma



It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas outside. We had a huge snowfall this past Sunday and Monday. It dumped what felt like a foot of snow in 24 hours. The kids had their first snow day of the year and they got to join Matt and I at work for part of the day! I usually re-write the ever changing draft board on Mondays and I think it’s safe to say Jordan knows a lot of brewery names and what an ABV percentage is. I mean, she can’t go through life thinking Miller Lite is really the champagne of beers, right?


Last week was a rough one for me, but here I am, I survived. I went into work Friday night, and to be honest, I really didn’t want to. I was hurt, and it had been less than 24 hours since the incident happened. I spend more time with these people than I do my own family, and one of them stole the kid’s Christmas money right out of my purse. To me, a lot of those fellow co-workers are like my family. They’ve seen the good, the bad, and even the ugly in my life and still stood by my side, supporting me. So in I walked and my boss pulled me in the office, handed me an envelope, and said “After you left work last night we all pulled our money together and people came in today and put money in as well. Customers, regulars, and even old employees. They heard about what had happened and wanted to help. We love you Jess and you’re a good person and we wanted to show you how much we love you and have your back. That’s what families do.” I just began to sob like a baby. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They all cared. They all wanted to make this right, not just for me, but for the kids.

I had an overwhelming feeling of love rush over me. How amazing was that? I walked around with tears still streaming down my face and hugged each and every person I worked with. “Of course, girl!” – “We love you, we’re family!” – “I know you would of done the same for me or anyone else here!” I left work that night with more money than I could count. The next day I walked into my other job, World of Beer (where Matt and I both work) and one of the managers pulled me aside and handed me an envelope. You’ve got to be kidding me. “We heard about what happened to you and we wanted to help. We love seeing those kids in here and we don’t want them to miss out on Christmas!” The love just kept on coming, from every direction, from people I’ve met a few time to long time family friends. I didn’t expect that at all and I made sure to use every penny towards the kids for Christmas.

Karma is real and what you put out into the universe you get back. After having all of that money stolen, I wasn’t angry at first, I was hurt. I kept thinking, if someone needed money that badly they should have just asked me, I would of helped in some way, and ya know what, we will figure this all out. Matt and I will find a way to make this work, everything is going to be okay. Christmas isn’t ruined. Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about love and being with the ones you love. As cliche as that may sound, it’s 100% true. I can’t remember every single toy I got for Christmas, but I remember being with my family, eating Mom’s homemade cinnamon rolls at the table with my brothers and going to church and singing all of the Christmas hymns.

So, to say the least, my faith in humanity was restored. I realized that I wasn’t going to let one selfish person ruin our Christmas and by doing that it came back to me tenfold.

It Came In Like a Wrecking Ball

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It really feels like I’ve been beaten down this week. I mean, honest to God, I’ve had a rough few weeks and I’ve rolled with the punches but last night — last night was the icing on the cake.

I picked the kids up Monday from school and asked them how their day was. As I turned to look at James he had tears rolling down his cheeks. “What’s the matter bud?!” and he just looked at me and said, “We got our report cards and I got a couple of 3’s.” If you are not aware, some elementary schools don’t give out actual grades (A’s, B’s, C’s..and so on) until a certain grade level. 1’s are considered above and beyond, 2’s are for right on track for their grade level, and 3’s are for needs lots of improvement. I asked him what the 3’s were for and he told me “Well, my handwriting is really bad but I’m working on it and my teacher thought I didn’t turn in an assignment, but I did, and she couldn’t find it so it was marked incomplete, but she found it in her desk today. And sometimes…I can’t control myself when I know the answer to something so I blurt it out and I’m really trying to work on that too.”

I mean, those were all things we figured were going to be said on his report card because it’s not new news to us. I told him, “Well, it looks like you’re very aware of what you need to work on, so why are you so upset, relax bud, you’re kicking Math’s butt though!” I turned and looked at Jordan and asked her, “Well, what about you? Anything I need to know about before Parent/Teacher Conferences on Wednesday?” She looked me dead straight in the eyes, with a smile on her face and said, “Nope! I’m all good!”

As we are driving home I get a phone call from our bank asking me if I’m using my credit card out of state. “Uh, no. No I am not.” — They read off the pending charges and we came to the conclusion my credit/debit card number was stolen. I took a deep breath and began the process of having them reissue me a new card as soon as possible.

Lucky for me I thought. I’m a server half of the week and I still had all my cash on me from over the weekend, so I thought I had nothing to worry about. I had the kid’s Christmas money all set to be deposited so I could use that until I got my new card.

Wednesday rolls around and Matt and I went up to the school for the Parent/Teacher Conferences. Matt ran into Stephanie earlier that morning and she gave him the thumbs up about James’ conference. Which to be honest, after his year thus far, we were ALL a little worried. So after that thumbs up,  I wasn’t too concerned or worried about going in to talk to their teachers. — If only life was that easy, right?…

We sit down with Jordan’s teacher and she asked if Stephanie was going to be coming. We told her no, she was at home with the kids, but not to worry because she already asked if I would let her know how everything went. “We need to address some serious behavioral issues first.” My mouth dropped to the floor and Matt turned about five different shades of red in like 30 seconds. “I didn’t send a note home or call you because I wanted to talk to you about this face to face.”

Now, I don’t normally put the kids on blast. I usually brag about them to anyone who will listen to me, but sometimes there are some ugly times and things that kids do that make parents think, “What have I done wrong?” — I want you parents to know that no kid is perfect and they all make mistakes,  but it doesn’t always make it the parent’s fault. And if you have a child who was hurt or offended by another child, don’t look at that parent like they don’t know what they are doing or their child is just pure evil. You don’t know what that household is going through. Remember small children are just that, small children, with small brains, who are just embarking on understanding this crazy world we live in. We are all human.

Back to the story. Her teacher looked me in the eyes and said. “Jordan has been really acting out and not her normal self the past few weeks. Right after Thanksgiving Break the kids got a paper they could turn in for a treat if they read and had a parent sign the paper. Well, Jordan forged your signature, Jess.” My jaw dropped even further. Um, excuse me, my seven year old did WHAT!?” — Her teacher said, “When the librarian asked her if that was her mom’s signature, Jordan said yes, then the teacher pulled out James’ that you had signed and it clearly wasn’t the same signature.”  What the actual *@#$!

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She then goes on to say, “Then on Monday she went to the Scholastic Book Fair in the library and she stole a roll of fancy tape. The librarian pulled Jordan aside and asked her if she took something that wasn’t hers. Jordan told her no. The librarian asked her three times and Jordan kept telling her no. Well, she then made her empty out her pockets and out fell the tape.”

I couldn’t even form words. I felt like someone just took one of those wrecking balls and smacked me in the side of the face with it.

“I’m so sorry….that’s actually not all of it. Yesterday she stole a bag of pretzels from one of the girls in class and put it in her desk and ate from it all day. I didn’t know about it until the girl’s parents emailed me saying their daughter came home crying from school. I’m so sorry guys. I KNOW this isn’t like her at all and up until a few weeks ago she has been GREAT, but all of a sudden she just started this really mean streak.”

I’m pretty sure the first thing I ended up saying was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Because Jordan hasn’t acted different at either house at ALL, and trust me, one of us would of said something to each other about it. Clearly there is something going on in that head of hers and on Sunday, her and I are going to have a nice little chat about it. I called Stephanie after we left and I’m sure Jo got a well deserved ear full after we hung up.

Well that’s just a fabulous start to the rest of my week now. Wednesday through Saturday I serve at a restaurant. I make easy quick cash and I’m still able to balance everything else going on in my life. Last night was a busy night and at the end I went back to where we keep our coats and purses to put the money I made in my wallet. I opened up my wallet and every single dollar was gone. All $250 of it. All $250 of the kid’s Christmas money — gone.

I just began to sob. I sobbed like a baby and one of my best friends just sat there and held me as I cried. I’ve been busting my ASS the past month to make sure that EVERYONE gets Christmas. And here I sit, with zero dollars set aside for presents.

I mean, I took one hit, then another hit, then another, I just couldn’t do it anymore and I lost it. When is enough, enough? I feel like I was not only whacked with one of those wrecking balls but then ran over by a fleet of semi-trucks. I’m really hoping last night was the end of it all, because I don’t know how much more I can emotionally take.


The Day Before Thanksgiving


It is the day before Thanksgiving. I cannot believe how time has flown by over the past month. The kids are still sleeping in their rooms — we had quite the night. (I also figured I could get some work done before they woke up!) They talked me into putting the Christmas tree and Christmas decorations up. So we made a quick stop at Taco Bell, carried up all the boxes of Christmas stuff and got to decorating!

I usually wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the tree. I’m actually pretty firm on that. I don’t want Thanksgiving to be pushed aside, but yesterday in the car we were talking about things we were thankful for and one of the things the munchkins said was, “I’m thankful for family Christmas and being able to put up the Christmas tree with everyone!” They really know how to get what they want with me — just say something really sentimental and I break — every time.

I’m thankful for many things in my life.

I’m thankful for both of my jobs. They allow me to provide for our family while still being able to spend time with the kids.

I’m thankful for my husband and his dedication to providing for our family.

I’m thankful for my essential oils. James had this cough that all of us had one time or another the past month and just by putting Thieves oil on his feet, spine and diffusing it in his room over night — made his cough vanish!

I’m thankful for the relationship I have built with Stephanie over the past seven months. We have really come a long way and it has truly put me at peace. A sense of calmness has come over my life since we started working through our differences, anger, and hurt. I am truly thankful for her.

I’m thankful for our son, who is turning NINE on Monday. Since the first time I tucked him in to now, he still says, “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. I love you.” I know with age these moments are going to fade out and I’m thankful for these moments each night he is here. Not going to brag, okay maybe just a little, but he has a heart of gold 💛 and he is going to make someone very happy one day.

I’m thankful for my blog. My blog, that I have built, without the help of close friends and family. It has given me a platform to speak about step-parenting issues and obstacles I have come across and put a lot of my resentment and anger to bed. I honestly feel like my old self again.

I’m thankful for our daughter. She might be sassy, she might be very opinionated and stubborn, but every bit of that makes her seven year old self who she is. She might be cute, she might look innocent, but don’t think for a second she can’t hold her own. She has been like that since day one, even at 18 months.

I’m thankful for all of you. Each and every one of you who read my blog and have supported me through this journey. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

Happy Thanksgiving 

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Wine Weekend in Traverse City


Last weekend was my annual Ladies Wine Weekend in northern Michigan. Every year we get together as the leaves are changing colors and head up north to Traverse City, Michigan to relax and enjoy some amazing local wineries.


We always book a beautiful hotel resort looking over the Traverse City Bay. This year we were able to crack our balcony door open and hear the waves crashing up in the morning. It was just what the doctor ordered. There has been so much craziness and chaos, I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend.


This year we headed up the Leelanau Peninsula to about ten different wineries. A few of my favorites were:

Black Star Farms, which has a great selection of dessert wines! I love their Raspberry one! A small glass of that with dark chocolate is to die for.

Blu Stone Vineyards, which had my favorite new wine. Pinot Noir Rose. I really wish I would of bought more than just one bottle, but they ship their wines! So I will be ordering more in the future 🙂

Three Fires Wine is a french style winery. This was a new winery for us to stop at this year. The process of making their wine is much different than the Italian style. I loved their buttery chardonnay wine, Intrigue. I think this would make a great wine to serve with Thanksgiving dinner this year!


We had a fabulous time, and no worries, we had our trusty driver Doug who picked us up and dropped us back off at the resort. We book with Doug every year. He knows us all by name and the kinds of wines we like, he’s awesome. If anyone is looking to do a wine tour, I highly recommend Doug!


We had delicious brunches and exotic dinners all over the city. We checked out some of the haunted buildings in downtown TC since Halloween was the following Monday. We also went to a speak easy! I’ve been to one in New York City (nothing can compare to that one), but this one was pretty close. They had smoked bourbon, where actual smoke was coming out of a bourbon bottle that was served to you at the table. I’m the only one who drinks bourbons and whisky’s at the table, so I convinced the girls it was much better to look at from a distance.


As the weekend wrapped up we got to watch The University of Michigan vs Michigan State Football game. All Michiganders know how big of a game this is every year. And this year it was finally The University of Michigan’s year to win big! GO BLUE! I’m so glad they did, one of my girlfriends is huge sports fan, and her ego was so big about U of M winning that she said she would jump in the bay, naked, if they lost. She can thank her lucky stars they won!


That pretty much sums up my trip. I’m going to leave out the part where my son got into so much trouble at school that Friday and I had almost drove home to ring his neck out myself 🙂 but I knew that wouldn’t help any so I let him sit and stew until he had to face me Sunday afternoon. I have a lot of catch up to write about this week. Believe it or not I was sick again and had to make another trip to urgent care this weekend, so I am still playing catch up with reading posts too!

My Vile Facebook News Feed


Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past year, you know the United States has a Presidential Election coming up in a couple weeks. Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton.

I’m an educated woman and I keep up on my politics and what’s going on around the world. I have my views, opinions, and beliefs of what I believe is best for MY family. I don’t post things on my Facebook about who I believe is better or why the other candidate sucks. On the other hand, my friends on Facebook have gone from posting pictures of their kid’s first days of school, their dance recitals, picture day, and their baby’s first Christmas, to the most vile malicious things I have seen on social media to date.

The name calling is out of control. I saw one friend tell another friend, “Go ahead and vote for your cunt Hillary.” Dear Lord, I couldn’t believe my eyes. These two friends were not raised to speak to each other that way!  Do they know that other people are reading this and judging their character by their choice of words? And by choice of words, I mean the vile disgusting ones attached to attack someone.

This election is out of control, but I mean, hasn’t every election been out of control since social media blew up? My Facebook news feed has blown up with political memes, posts, and rants. I normally just scroll right past them and go on with my day, but lately I’ve been seeing more and more attacks on the person who made the post. Trump supporters are ripping their friends apart and calling women murders and whores because of where they stand on abortion. I see Clinton supporters pointing fingers and saying that all Trump supporters are secret racists and bigots. What’s with the name calling? Why go there?

I know I can’t be the only one fed up with their social media news feeds turning into a pissing contest. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, it’s one of the reasons that make America great. I believe every person who is voting is voting for the candidate who they think will do what’s best for THEIR family, and you know what, I respect that.

This morning was a breaking point for me and I finally decided to post something on my Facebook. This is what I said:

“It’s really hard to scroll through my news feed and watch friends attacking other friends on their political beliefs. It’s hard reading the hateful things y’all are saying to each other. You know it’s okay to have different beliefs, right? You know, if someone doesn’t AGREE with you, it doesn’t make them uneducated or stupid. At the end of the day, every person who is voting is voting for who they believe will do what’s best for their family. Show a little respect people, we are better than this.”