If We Were Having Coffee…


If we were having coffee I would tell you all about my week and how much fun I had with spending some extra time with just my husband Matt. Our son had a baseball game on Monday and Wednesday this week. I just love watching James play baseball, or anything he loves to do. His passion for sports will run deep the rest of his life and it makes my heart happy that he found something that makes him this excited!

If we were having coffee, you might mention the large bandage on my hand. When Matt and I were at the baseball game I cut my hand on glass and it sliced my thumb pretty good. It took awhile to get the bleeding under control but there was no way I was about to get stitches so I sucked it up and powered through the pain until the bleeding subsided. The real down fall was having to wait in the First Aid area for an hour and we ended up running late to James’s game on Wednesday. I had to leave right when I got there because the bleeding started back up again and needed something to wrap it up better. I guess I should of just gone with the stitches, but it’s getting better now. Just a couple chunks missing from my thumb, no big deal. I wish I had a better story to tell then just cutting it on some glass that was sitting next to my beer at the game.

If we were having coffee I would tell you about how my friend Lauren took the kids to Build-a-Bear this week! They have been waiting for weeks to go with her and the time has finally come. James made a Chewbacca, Jordan made an Anna from Frozen bear and Lauren and I each made one too. I’m a huge Ellen DeGeneres fan so I of course got a Dory from the new moving coming out, Finding Dory and Lauren got an ewok from Star Wars. Overall, we had a great time being kids for the two hours we spent in the store.


If we were having coffee I would tell you about the Kindness Challenge I have been participating in and how much it has opened my eyes to the world around me. It is something everyone should take time to do. Stop and smell the roses. Life is forever changing around us, don’t forget to stop and take it all in.


Thanks for stopping by today. My hand is getting a little sore holding this coffee mug and I have some errands to finish up before I head into work tonight! Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all of my fellow Americans. To those who are or have served our country, thank you for all that you do!



Tuesday at Ten: Learn


Learn. Something I have been doing for years, but more specific, learning how to be a great step mom and wife.


The second my step kids walked into my life, everything changed. I was now apart of a team to help raise a 18 month old and a 2 year old. I had to learn to change diapers. I had to learn to put my foot down and say no to the kids. I had to learn that I had to EARN respect from the kids and Matt’s ex wife, it wasn’t just going to happen over night. I had to learn how to take care of spiral curly hair, because Jordan has A LOT of it. I had to learn how to fix imaginary boo-boo’s with a glitter pink wand. I had to learn how to play little kid games and use my imagination. I had to learn how to teach a kid how to blow their nose and tie their shoes. I had to learn how to co-parent with a woman I knew hated my guts. I had to learn to take the high road, and that really killed my pride at first. I learned that taking the high road didn’t make me weak, it made me stronger. I was able to learn how to co-parent without lashing out.

I had to re-learn how to basically live my life. I had to learn how to be a parent in a short amount of time and play catch up on the things I missed along the way. Learning all of these things all at once was very overwhelming. I had ONE shot to get this right. I couldn’t let my future husband down and I couldn’t let James and Jordan down. I spent months reading book after book about co-parenting, blended families and step parenting. I wanted to have all the tools at my finger tips because my family deserved the best. Just because I didn’t KNOW how to do all of these things didn’t mean I couldn’t LEARN them. I’m a very smart woman and I knew if I wanted to learn this, I would.


I know I’m not perfect and I make mistakes, but I learn from them. I knew I was going to step on toes, not on purpose, but I was learning. I was going to cry a lot of nights, but I was learning on how to handle this new lifestyle. The step mom lifestyle of all the work and no reward. I learned that the reward is in the love I receive, in the smiles on the kid’s faces when I pick them up from school and in the way Matt looks at me every morning when we wake up. Out of everything I have learned, I learned that THIS is exactly where I want to be in my life. Happy and in love with my amazing little family, taking everything one day at a time and realizing that we are ALL still learning, and that’s okay.



#WeekendCoffeeShare – 5/7

I came across this awesome link-up at Part Time Monster. I write as though I am sitting with all of you, having coffee. 

For those of you who don’t know me yet, my name is Jessica, my blog is Not the Average Mama and I am 28 year old wife and step mom to two amazing munchkins, James (8) and Jordan (7) . My husband Matt and I have been together for almost six years and it has been a roller coaster ride of an experience navigating our way through this crazy,beautiful, blended life.  

weekend coffee share

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about the awesome Mother’s Day gifts I got from my husband and munchkins. Let’s start off by saying I did not expect any gifts, I never expect any gifts on Mother’s Day, but I never turn them down! Well, they got me the Young Living Essential Oils Starter Kit. I have been wanting this for awhile now. I have a few essential oils, but I really wanted this starter kit. It’s kinda pricey, but I figured I would buy it with some birthday money this year. Low and behold, those three must have been listening to me, because it showed up on my door step earlier this week. They also got me a new pair of running shoes and some gorgeous flower hanging baskets for our front yard. I am one happy mama!


If we were having coffee, I would talk to you about my step son James’s  baseball game today. It was his first game of the U8 season and he is on the Athletics. He’s absolutely, down right, handsome in his uniform! I just can’t get over how grown up he is getting. James is going to be nine this year and it feels like yesterday I was chasing him around to change his diaper.  He was the catcher and the pitcher today. He hit a triple his second time up to bat and Stephanie (his mom) and I jumped up and were screaming hysterically for him! James had his own little cheering section and I can only imagine how great that made him feel to look over and see ALL of us cheering him on TOGETHER!


If we were having coffee, I would mention to you that Stephanie and I are writing guest posts for each other to be published on Mother’s Day. Stephanie is a blogger over at Making Time for Me and also my step kid’s mom. Little did we know, we were in the same blogging circle and have been moving forward with our relationship ever since. I’m telling you, co-parenting can work if you BOTH put in an effort. I feel like getting over this hurdle has healed me in more ways than one. Plus, the kids love seeing everyone get along. Hell, I love seeing everyone get along!

If we were having coffee, I would probably let you know I have quite a busy day ahead of me and have to finish some errands before I have to work tonight. So enjoy your Saturday and can’t wait to see you next week!


Tuesday at Ten: Healing

I stumbled across a link-up called Tuesday at Ten on Finding the Grace Within. This week the prompt word is “healing” and right away a flood of emotions came over me.


For the past three years I have been trying to heal myself. Trying to heal the wounds and pains that have happened in my life. I have lost friendships that I never in a million years would of thought I would lose. That was a huge hit to my heart. It was like a death, a death I have been mourning for the past three years. I have written about it before, and to this day it still pains me to talk about what happened. The true colors of people I trusted in my life. I don’t trust a lot of people and I don’t let a lot of people into my life. I have a wall up to keep the hurt out and after being dragged through the mud with ex friends, the wall just got higher.


I began to question myself a lot. Questioning where I went wrong and how I never saw it coming. I was depressed. I was hurt. I was angry. I needed time. I needed time to heal the pain and move on when I was ready. Matt never pushed me. He never told me to get over it, he never told me to stop crying, he just held me. He held me so many nights as I cried myself to sleep. He held my hand and picked me up when I couldn’t pick myself up off of the ground. Matt was exactly what I needed him to be, which was him to just BE there.


I started my journey of healing myself. Healing myself from the pain I endured and getting back to becoming the woman that I know I am. While in the process of healing I realized I wasn’t being honest with myself with ALL of the reasons I was depressed. It wasn’t just losing my friends, but I still haven’t healed the wounds between Stephanie (my step kids mom) and myself. There was A LOT of pain there, a LOT of anger, and clearly a lot of healing that needed to take place. I caused pain in her life and she has caused pain in mine, but deep down I didn’t want to hate her. I WANTED us to be on good terms, I WANTED us to move forward and for her to look me in the eyes and instead of seeing all the pain that has been caused, see all the love that is right in front of us.

So I began blogging. I began my healing process with getting all of my feelings and emotions off of my chest. I just let the words flow from my finger tips onto the screen. I released all of the pain, anger and frustrations. I wrote with the intent of being real. This is who I am and this is my story, take it or leave it, I blog for me. I had immediate support from fellow step moms. The love and community here on WordPress is beyond amazing and I will forever be grateful for all of you who have followed my journey and showed me support since the beginning.


It has almost been five months since I started my healing process through blogging and it has changed my life completely. I found my voice. I am healing my wounds and building a life changing relationship with Stephanie. I never thought I would ever be able to say that. If you have been following my blog for awhile, then you know I truly never believed this would ever happen. But it did and I instantly felt my heart begin to heal. My heart is full of love and admiration to a woman who called me every name in the book just six short years ago. I am proud to call her my friend. I am proud to say I am a better woman because of it. I am still healing but brick by brick I am lowering my wall and letting the sunshine in.