It’s Our Year

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This week I don’t have to go into work. We had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the munchkins and then they headed to their mom’s house for a week. We picked them up Monday morning and we have them until Wednesday morning when they get dropped off at school. Our break routines are always fair and split in half unless otherwise talked about with the other set of parents.

It gets really quiet in the house when both of them aren’t there. I end up having conversations with our dog, and realize I’m getting frustrated that he isn’t answering me. Days the kids aren’t at our house are days that I work. When they are here, those are my days off for the week. Well, last week I didn’t really have time to even notice if the kids were here or not because more often than not I was at work, getting my butt kicked. Which is why I am totally happy that I don’t have to run around on my feet for another 40+ hours this week. I at least hit 10,000 steps one night at work, so there’s that!

My emotions have been all over the place this week. I’m anxious because we are taking having a baby more serious this year. Last year my husband had a vasectomy reversal and the doctor said that everything went great. A year later, still no baby. We aren’t keeping to a certain schedule, but we are actively trying to get pregnant. In a few weeks we are going to Indiana to get some tests done and see what is going on and to make sure everything is working properly. I haven’t talked about this much on my blog because I truly didn’t want to get my hopes up. When getting a vasectomy reversal there is no 100% guarantee that you will get pregnant, but it gives you a chance, and a chance is all that we are looking for.

I never wanted kids growing up, yet here I am, praying to God every night to get pregnant. “You know you’re still a mother even if we don’t have a baby of our own, right?”, my husband reminds me of that every day and I understand that he is right. but it’s still an extremely hard pill to swallow. I know James and Jordan see me as a mother to them. I know they love me more than words could describe and I know they KNOW that I am always here for them, no matter what. But how amazing would it be to have a mini version of my husband and I to join in on all of this amazing fun we have as a family?! That is what I want, we want, and this year will be our year to find out how we will make this dream come to life.

 

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A Relaxing Tuesday

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What a relaxing week after such a crazy few weeks. Kids are on break and we just relaxed the past few days.

These are the days I long for with them. Yesterday we all went to the movies, and today we cuddled and watched movies on Netflix, HBO, and Amazon Prime. Hubby made breakfast for dinner last night, and the munchkins had left overs tonight. I made pizza rolls with wine for Hubby and I. Classy, I know.

You don’t have to always make a dinner from scratch every night. Sometimes hummus with pita will do.

Little Miss had a bad cough the past couple of days, so she just wanted to be cuddled and held. Hey, I’m not complaining. I’ll take all the love I can get 😊 Little Man has been in a reading mood lately. He has read 2 full chapter books since he has been at our house this week. I love watching them fall in love with reading. Makes my heart happy.

Valentine’s Day was great. Hubby surprised me with two new books, 2 bottles of our favorite wine, a dozen red roses, and a card that he always writes from his heart. He knows me too well. Wine, books, and love letters ❤ We also have a date night planned in March, hopefully a little baby making will be involved!

So far this week hasn’t been too bad, besides the email I got from an ex best friend. But that’s a blog for another day…

Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start!

4 + 1 = 5

Adding on to our family of 4 has always been a goal for us. We have always wanted to have a baby of our own. One that looked like both of us 🙂

We have waited this long for many reasons, one of them being the kids were going through a lot of transitions at their mom’s house so we thought adding another huge transition wouldn’t be helpful to them. No big deal. We get to focus on them and adjust to this new blended lifestyle.

Now the time has come. Woo hoo! So we thought we would talk to the kids about it. Now they have a half brother already so our initial thought was they are going to be super excited. Well, that was 50% true. Little man was THRILLED! He had a huge smile, gave me a big hug and promised he would be the best big brother. Little miss didn’t have the same reaction. She’s the baby in our family, and she plays the roll very well sometimes. She’s got her daddy wrapped around her glittery little finger. (It’s adorable, and I fully support it. I might have even given her tips.)

So little miss got this sad look on her face and I asked her how she felt about having a baby brother or sister, tears fell down her cheeks and she said “but you won’t pay attention to me anymore, that’s what happened when mommy had [insert half brother’s name]!” Now I know that’s not true. I told her of course mommy gave baby brother a lot of attention, he is a BABY. Babies need lots of love and attention, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you the same or we don’t care.

It broke my heart to hear her say that. I know their mother gives them attention, maybe not as much because hey there is a new baby involved here, but how do you explain that to a 6 year old?

It took her a few days but she came around to understanding. She knows she can come to us with any questions. I also told her I was going to need her help, because I mean she’s the pro right? She helped her mommy with baby brother so I’m going to need all the help she can give me.

I’m trying not to feed into little miss’s anger with not getting enough attention, deep down I know she’s just worried about her place, but she will see that her place will always be the same and I know little man will do an amazing job to reassure her of that!

Post Op

The doctor said so far Hubby’s surgery was a success. No surprises or issues. I couldn’t be a happier wife. So many things were running through my head as I waited three hours for him to come out of surgery. “Will the pain be manageable?” “How long will it really take for him to recover?” “What if something goes wrong while he is under anesthesia? He’s never been completely under before…”

The doctor finally came out and said he did great and that I had a very funny husband. I laughed and got up and walked back to go see him. I walked through the double doors and low and behold my hubby has the nurses, doctors, and anesthesiologist laughing hysterically. (looks like the pain meds were already getting to him) All of my anxiety vanished. He looked up, gave me a huge smile and two thumbs up.

I asked him today if he remembered anything he was saying and he had NO idea what I was talking about 😂 Maybe it’s better that way, his filter was completely gone!

Now we just wait about 10 weeks before we get a sperm analysis done! The munchkins know what is going on to an extent. They know their daddy and I are trying to have a baby and they are pretty excited about it! Let’s hope these next 10 weeks fly by!