This week I don’t have to go into work. We had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the munchkins and then they headed to their mom’s house for a week. We picked them up Monday morning and we have them until Wednesday morning when they get dropped off at school. Our break routines are always fair and split in half unless otherwise talked about with the other set of parents.
It gets really quiet in the house when both of them aren’t there. I end up having conversations with our dog, and realize I’m getting frustrated that he isn’t answering me. Days the kids aren’t at our house are days that I work. When they are here, those are my days off for the week. Well, last week I didn’t really have time to even notice if the kids were here or not because more often than not I was at work, getting my butt kicked. Which is why I am totally happy that I don’t have to run around on my feet for another 40+ hours this week. I at least hit 10,000 steps one night at work, so there’s that!
My emotions have been all over the place this week. I’m anxious because we are taking having a baby more serious this year. Last year my husband had a vasectomy reversal and the doctor said that everything went great. A year later, still no baby. We aren’t keeping to a certain schedule, but we are actively trying to get pregnant. In a few weeks we are going to Indiana to get some tests done and see what is going on and to make sure everything is working properly. I haven’t talked about this much on my blog because I truly didn’t want to get my hopes up. When getting a vasectomy reversal there is no 100% guarantee that you will get pregnant, but it gives you a chance, and a chance is all that we are looking for.
I never wanted kids growing up, yet here I am, praying to God every night to get pregnant. “You know you’re still a mother even if we don’t have a baby of our own, right?”, my husband reminds me of that every day and I understand that he is right. but it’s still an extremely hard pill to swallow. I know James and Jordan see me as a mother to them. I know they love me more than words could describe and I know they KNOW that I am always here for them, no matter what. But how amazing would it be to have a mini version of my husband and I to join in on all of this amazing fun we have as a family?! That is what I want, we want, and this year will be our year to find out how we will make this dream come to life.