I’ve had an emotional roller coaster of a week. I missed my Monday Morning Coffee post, and you know what, I’m okay with that. As I mentioned before, Matt is starting a new job which begins August 1 and for this new job he has to travel to Florida for training for two weeks. We didn’t know exactly when he would have to go to Florida, but we knew it would be in the middle of August sometime. Well, Wednesday morning he found out they want him to leave ON August 1.
A million things began to run through my head. The kids were going to over night church camp on the other side of the state this week and they wouldn’t be back to the house until the morning of August 1. Which means…the munchkins wouldn’t see Matt for 3.5 weeks and they are leaving the house to go back to their mom’s house in a few hours. OH GREAT! This is just AWESOME. Tears began to fall down my face, none of us have ever gone that long without seeing each other. I had to go back to the bedroom to regroup so the kids wouldn’t see me crying which I know in return would make them cry.
In the end, that really didn’t matter because they both ended up crying once James did the math in his head how long it would be until they see their dad again. So many thoughts were rushing through my head, all the things I was going to have to do alone with them and not be able to tag someone else in. I texted their mom Stephanie to tell her about what was going on so she had a heads up as to why they might be a little emotional or talking about Matt leaving. First off, let me say she was awesome and offered to some how get the kids to us this week after church camp so Matt could see them, but we already have our Nashville plans for the end of this week. In the end our schedule stayed the same, but everyone was on board about what was going on. (another co-parenting communication win!)
A few hours later Steph sent me a text that said “Are you gonna be ok?”
Let’s stop here. This is something I wanted someone to ask me. This was the most caring question I have received about this situation thus far, and it came from my husband’s ex wife.
I told her how doing this alone with the kids is going to be tough for me, because the older they have got, the more they realize they can gang up on me when Matt’s not here. I mean, I can keep them in check, but they are getting smarter and smarter and some times I forget that. After I sent send, I thought, “Well shit, that was a really stupid thing to say to a woman who was a single mom to those two kids for almost a year.” — Which she responded with some encouraging words that she knows I CAN do this, but she was really wondering about the time when I’m alone….without the kids.
I began to cry, because that was a thought I was trying my best not to think about. I’m not the kind of person who likes to be alone. I don’t MIND being alone, it’s nice to be able to reflect on my thoughts and feelings from time to time, but I’m a people person. I LOVE being around people. My husband is my best friend. He’s my go to guy. If something really exciting happened, he is the first person I call. We’ve been together for six years and I’m still head over heels in love with him. Yeah, yeah, I know. Mushy gushy stuff, so cliche, I know, but it’s true.
I told Stephanie how I was freaking out about how fast it was coming up, and she said to me, “OK, you’ll be OK. If you need me, I’m here.” Those two sentences gave me a sense of peace. This woman would straight up tell me if she thought she was worried about me being alone while Matt was gone, but she’s not. She believes in me just like some where deep down in me, I believe in myself.
So the past few days I have been spending with Matt, just the two of us hanging out and doing things together. I told myself it was OKAY if I didn’t blog every day this week, because well, to me, my family comes first. This morning he left to go fishing for a few hours so I decided I’d catch up on my blogging and explain my different blogging schedule for this week.
I know things could be worse and this is actually a really positive situation, so that is what I have been trying to focus on. This will benefit our family and this will strengthen our marriage. The longest I’ve gone without seeing my husband is three days — so this will be a true test, and I have no doubt that we will pass with flying colors.