There are days where I look at the kids and think, “Wow, how did we get so lucky to have such polite and respectful children!? We must be doing something right.”. Then there are days where I’m thinking, “Where the hell did these spawn of Satans come from!?”. Today was a spawn of Satan day for our daughter Jordan.
NOTHING was getting through to her today. EVERYTHING anyone did was annoying to her. She started off the day today punching her brother in the car because his basketball was rolling around on the seat and “it bothered her.” Keep in mind, he never hits her back, no matter how much she is pissing him off, because she is a girl, and boys don’t hit girls, EVER. As hard as it is not tell him to knock her block off, he has to learn and KNOW that no matter what a girl does, you can’t hit them back. So she’s being a little twerp with him the whole 25 minute car ride to school and he’s being such an adult by just ignoring her. I’ve got to a point where I let them work it out themselves, as long as they are communicating CALMLY and not just yelling at each other.
As Jordan was walking out of her classroom later today she had a look on her face like she just pissed off her entire class. We get in the car and I did the usual and asked each of them how their days were. James told me all about his and then Jordan began talking about hers. As she is telling her story, apparently she was giving her brother dirty looks and hitting him again. Literally, for no reason. He honestly was doing NOTHING but listening to his sister talk about her day. So this little brat then SMACKS him because he was “clearing his throat funny, and I didn’t like how it sounded.” What the shit!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!? You didn’t LIKE the way he was CLEARING his THROAT so you SMACKED him? I was five seconds from losing my shit.
Normally, this is where I pull over and chew her out. She has had ENOUGH warnings about things like this and she KNOWS what she is doing is wrong. So I asked her why she was so angry with her brother all day, on top of her normal bossy tendencies. “I don’t know.” she says with a sassy attitude. *deep breath. count to 10* I HATE when they tell me “I don’t know.” I think it’s because if I ever said that to my mom or dad when I was little, “my ass would be grass.”.
“Okay, I have an idea then.” I said. “You have to say FIVE nice things about your brother to him right now.” This girl couldn’t even come up with TWO nice things to say about her brother to him. She started crying and saying “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!”. You’ve got to be kidding me, she was just over the top emotional and I was just over it by now. I told her she can talk with her father when he gets home and see what the right punishment will be since she clearly didn’t want to listen to what I had to say. Good luck child, his punishments are WAY worse then mine. She obviously started sobbing harder knowing that hell was about to freeze over when her daddy walked through the door in less than an hour.
Matt talked to Jordan when he got home from work and before James’s baseball game. Whatever he said seemed to work and we headed out the door to the game. As we are sitting down I reminded Jordan to stay away from the team bench so James and Daddy could focus on the game. Do you think she listened to me? Nope. I asked her to sit down so I could see the game or go over to the side to play. Do you think she listened to me then? Nope. And what does she say to me right before her brother goes up to bat you ask? “I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, LIKE RIGHT NOW.” — So I missed watching James up to bat the first time and he hit a single, and I missed it. I know there will be other games, but I won’t get to go to a lot of them and I really wanted to watch all the games I could this year. Couple innings go by and she is goofing off in the chair I brought for her to sit in. James is up to bat again and I ask Jordan to PLEASE sit still so I could watch him bat this time around. Guess who broke the chair I brought them because they weren’t sitting in it the way they were suppose to? Yup, you guessed it. Jordan. As I pick her up off the ground and try to gain my composure in front of all of the parents, I look over at the plate and James was already on first base. I missed him AGAIN because of Jordan. I’m sure you could see the steam coming from my ears by then.
Well, I tried today, everyone. I really tried. I’m through with adulting for the day, so could someone hand me a cold beer or a glass of wine. This mama is calling it quits for the night before it gets any worse.