There was actually quite a lot of “V” words I wanted to write about. Vacation, because we have tons of great memories, with Cracker Barrel stories galore from the many stops on our way to and from destinations, “The Voice” because it is a family ritual every Monday and Tuesday and Volunteering because that is something I do weekly at the munchkin’s school. But I decided on Village.
I’m sure you have heard the African Proverb “It takes a village to raise a child.” That statement rings with truth in blended and step families. Two sets of parents, four sets of grandparents, step siblings, half siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. So many people who make up the village your children are being raised in.
Children are like sponges. They absorb every piece of information around them. The more love and positive influences in a child’s life the better. This isn’t always easy when both sets of parents don’t get along. Regardless if bio mom/dad is on board or not, YOU as a step parent need to find your place in this village. No one will find it for you and each family situation is different. YOU have to decide where you want to stand in helping to raise a child who is now apart of your life. What kind of parent do you want to be?
In your village you will need to have communication. Not everyone likes texting, but I personally like to have texts sent to me when dates change with the munchkins. It’s easier for me to look back at exactly what their mom said in a text so I don’t have to bother her later for information she already gave me. M’s ex wife communicates with me more than him. For us, it just works out better that way. Whenever she needs to change a day, she will most likely contact me first and I will pass it on to M. The both of them need to work on their communication skills with EACH OTHER, but until then, I don’t mind being the “buffer”. I’m a Libra, it’s what we do.
Also in your village, you will need to have respect. Respect for everyone who helps raise this child. Bio mom or dad is an ass jack you say? Well, that ass jack helped bring this awesome kid in your life, so they deserve at least your respect for that. It not only gives your inner soul peace, but it teaches your child to treat their parents with respect. Monkey see, monkey do.
Overall, your village needs to support, respect and communicate with each other. This child you are raising together will benefit from EACH parent in their life. Each person in your village has something unique to offer, a lesson that will help the child grow and navigate through this crazy world.
“It is not what you do for your child, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.”