S is for Self-Reflection

S

The A-to-Z Challenge has been a real self-reflection. I have dug up feelings and memories that I had put in a little box somewhere six years ago. Dealing with all of these emotions this month has been a real eye opener for me. The memories of the munchkins have been emotional as well. Their little toddler years are long gone and they are just a memory of the past now. It’s bitter sweet.
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I have realized how strong I have become over the years. The things that use to make me so upset don’t even show up on my radar anymore. The anxiety and anger has slowly made it’s way out of my life, at least for now it has. I have patience for the first time in my entire life! That was an amazing thing to realize that I have accomplished. My priorities and responsibilities have changed as well, and for the better. I now see what parents always meant about putting their children first and how they would take a bullet for them. I couldn’t imagine a life without the munchkins in it.
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I’m realizing now that it is okay to make mistakes when it comes to parenting step kids. It’s going to happen and that’s okay! It doesn’t make me failure, it just makes me human. All parents make mistakes, but it’s how I learned from mine that makes me who I am today. I’ve realized I don’t cry like I use too. My skin has toughened up and instead of bottling up my emotions, I will talk about them more. Yeah, not everyone may understand where I am coming from, but they know how it makes me FEEL. Doing this has made everything between my marriage to co-parenting stronger.

I never thought becoming a stepmom would change me in so many positive ways. You don’t hear many stepmom stories that sound like that, but this is my story and my story is different. I’m still learning and growing as a person every day and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. How boring would life be if we just gave up on trying to learn and grow?
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If you would of told me 10 years ago that I would be married and have step kids, I would of laughed at you. There is no way that 10 year ago me would of ever imagined it. I only had one person to worry about back then, and that was me. My actions only affected me. Now they affect a whole slew of people. I’m responsible for not just making sure I stay alive, but two little munchkins too. 10 years later I am proud to say I am a wife and stepmama to two amazing kids and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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4 thoughts on “S is for Self-Reflection

  1. Being a stepmom without ever having had children before, must be quite a difficult road oftentimes. If your husband can allow you to be the “other mother”, that must make all the difference in the world. Sometimes I’ve seen the step parent feeling as if their hands are tied when it comes to disciplining, and that is a very difficult position to be in. Sounds like you have a well-balanced relationship. It isn’t easy from the bio-mom’s side either, I’m sure.
    I am kind of glad I never had to juggle with this!

    Like

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