A stepmom sometimes step into a broken family full of hurt, anger, and turmoil. There are many different dynamics they are walking into. Through it all, Stepmoms, never give up.
Never forget about yourself. First and foremost, you can’t forget to take care of yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect to love anyone else? It’s starts with you. Remember who you are, and where you came from. You are important. You matter. You are enough. Never forget that.
Never give up on your dreams and goals. Just because you are married and your life has changed, doesn’t mean you give up on your dreams. Adjust them? Possibly. Set new goals? Absolutely. But never give up on them.
Never give up when times are hard. Bio mom is going to piss you off. Your step kids will act like little hellions. Your partner will do things that irritate you, but don’t give up. Throwing in the towel when things go a little haywire is taking the easy way out. Anybody can give up, who said life was easy anyways?
Never go to bed angry. I have said this before when Little Man was pushing my buttons earlier this week, and it is something I firmly believe in. Going to bed angry will just lead to a bad nights sleep, which could lead to nightmares, which then causes you to be exhausted and irritated the next morning and nothing ends up being solved. All you have to show for going to bed angry is a poor nights sleep and a pretty crappy day ahead of you.
Never talk bad about a parent in front of a child. Being a child of divorce, I know how stressful and anxious this can make a child feel. Do you want to know what happens when a child hears you talking bad about their mom, dad, stepmom, or stepdad? They get defensive of that parent, they will protect them, and worst of all they will remember that awful feeling you gave them when you said the words you did. No matter WHAT the other parent has done, keep that talk for your spouse, not the child. They don’t get to pick their parents, they just get to love them.
Never quit on trying to co-parent. Co-parenting is the BEST option for everyone involved in a blended family. It’s just facts people. Statistics show how children thrive in a happy co-parenting lifestyle. This falls majorly on the parents involved in co-parenting. Co-parenting and communication go hand in hand. Never quit on trying to do what is best for all parties involved, even if that means killing people with kindness. I understand there are certain situations where co-parenting is not what is best for the child, and in those circumstances that isn’t quitting on trying to co-parent. That just means you did all YOU could do and all you could do is enough.
Never shut your partner out. You are in this life together. Through the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health. Step parents, don’t keep in all of your emotions. Don’t hide them from your spouse because you don’t think they will understand. They might not understand, and that’s okay. That’s why you talk about it. Talk about what is bothering you. Don’t shut out your partner because you think they won’t get it or you feel bad for venting. That’s what a marriage/relationship is about! You are there for each other. To love and support one another when the other is down. They are there to pick us up when we fall and put us back together. Never shut out the people who love you.
Never stop fighting for what you love. Never give up on what you hold dear in your heart. Never stop believing. Never give up hope and just keep swimming!