Lets start off by saying, I think it is pretty clear that being a step parent is HARD. It is hard work emotionally and physically. For me, the hard parts are mostly all emotional. Figures, right?
I am a childless stepmom. I do not have any biological kids of my own. I do, however, have two amazing step kids. Imagine your life before kids. Imagine how you, as a mother or father, had roughly 9 months to prepare to have children and be responsible for more then just yourself. Now imagine not having that kind of prep and being thrown straight into the beginning of toddlers years and diapers. I had NO idea what I was doing. I had NO clue what I was aloud to do or not do. I had no idea if I was going to fail or if I was going to step on bio mom’s toes. It was hard to know that she hated me. It was hard to deal with her hatred towards me. It was hard accepting that, but still try to form a bond with little people who are HALF of her.
It’s hard being attached to unfair stepmom stigmas.
It’s hard to deal with the ignorance of others who are judging me and our lifestyle.
It’s hard having to explain our family life to others who don’t understand.
It’s hard not seeing the kids everyday.
It’s hard being at the house alone when they aren’t here to fill the walls with their laughter.
It’s hard to be verbally attacked by a woman who helped create the two munchkins I can’t see my life without. I am a human being. I am a person with feelings and emotions. I feel like sometimes people forget that. I am a strong person, but when you try to destroy my character on a day to day basis, when does enough become enough? When will she ever just LET IT GO. All of that is hard to deal with. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and even harder life to live. It’s hard taking that high road. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to say “Fuck it. I’m done. She wins.” but I thought of my husband and munchkins. I knew they needed me and I needed them. Through the good times and the bad, right?
Well you know those times when you feel like
There’s a sign there on your back
That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can’t get worse than that
And then they do
If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there
- Rodney Atkins
Life is hard and unfair. I know that. I knew getting into this marriage that this wasn’t going to be easy. It was going to be very hard. I just didn’t know to the extent how HARD this was going to be. I’m not a quitter though. I fought for what I have. I worked hard every day to grow as a woman to become a better person , wife and step mama. I must say, I think I’m turning out pretty damn good. I wouldn’t change any of my mistakes in my past, because those mistakes turned into lessons, and got me to where I am today.
I have a wonderful husband, amazing munchkins, and a crazy ass life. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. No matter how HARD it might be.