E is for Evil Stepmother

E

Growing up I watched every single Disney princess movie made. I LOVED princess stories. I was my daddy’s little princess. So obviously I associated the word Stepmother with something wicked, scary, and EVIL. It was just embedded in my brain that if I ever had a stepmother, she would be evil. She would be horrible and I would hate her, because that is what happened in every fairy tale I read or watched.

evil

Think about it. There is Cinderella, she had her evil stepmother, Lady Tremaine, who was just flat out awful. Then there is the Evil Queen in Snow White, she tried poisoning her step daughter because she was jealous of how pretty she was.  Then there is Hansel and Gretel’s step mother who made her husband leave his kids in the middle of the woods with nothing more than a piece of bread, because well, she was a selfish bitch too.

In Chinese fairy tales, it is actually pretty common to find stories about evil stepmothers. There is one called Classic of Filial Piety, where an evil stepmother had two sons of her own and would make sure they were fed and clothed with warm winter clothes, but her poor step son, who lost his mother when he was young, was neglected and left to freeze.

There are Danish and German fairy tales where stepmothers hated their stepchildren just because they wanted the family inheritance. The creepiest of them all is a Korean folktale called Janghwa, Hongryeon. The step mother actually kills her two step daughters. It’s an actual MOVIE that was made in 2003. It’s called Tale of Two Sisters.

Janghwa_hongryeon_(Korea)

I mean, come on people. Not all stepmothers are evil. We don’t ride on broom sticks and we aren’t going to make your life a living hell on purpose. All of these fairy tales weren’t really helpful when it came to meeting my munchkin’s friends when they were little. Can you imagine the look on their faces when they said “This is my stepmother.” Their friend’s eyes would be as big as saucers and just stare at me as if they were waiting for me to do an evil laugh.

wicked2

I’m not an evil step mama and the evil stepmother stories don’t really bother me anymore. But when I use to read the fairy tale stories to the kids when they were younger, I usually always skipped those ones. No need to fill their heads with ideas LOL.

What I would really love is for there to be fairy tales about the awesome step mamas. Like ones called “The Step Mama Who Saved the Day” or something along those lines. Hmm…maybe I’m on to something here!

So throw out those Evil Stepmother thoughts and forget what you were taught when reading those fairy tales. Not all step mothers are evil, all we really want is a little love and support. We are just as afraid as everyone else entering this blended family lifestyle.

wicked

Advertisements

31 thoughts on “E is for Evil Stepmother

  1. Hear hear! Out with the evil stepmother trope! In that vein, I think Disney really needs to move away from the ‘one or both of the heroine’s parents died when she was a small child’ thing. Seriously guys can we stop making these stories about orphans with traumatic childhoods?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I wrote this blog back in December: https://proudtobestep.wordpress.com/2015/12/09/why-are-we-the-fine-print/

    Totally get what you’re saying! I remember when we tried to explain my “title” to my stepdaughter and we actually had to explain that Stepmoms aren’t evil! (She was 4). I found this book
    http://www.amazon.com/My-Fairy-Stepmother-Marni-Prince/dp/1481041967

    We read that to her A LOT at the beginning, it became one of her favorite stories. That’s the only book I’ve found in my search. I hope to see more in the future.

    I also went on facebook and pointed out all the stepmom/stepkids relationships that I knew… which wasn’t a lot. I made sure to point out any “Step” relationships I noticed in stories that WEREN’T evil. We explained adoptions as well and she now things that Matilda’s teacher is her Stepmom instead of her adoptive mom. lol. I guess she can’t form a connection with adoption so she is connecting it to stepmoms…. Either way, she remembers the parents weren’t nice and someone nicer came along. It took a lot of work, but for now… she’ll proudly say “That’s my stepmom”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awesome post! I specifically remember when my dad and stepmom (who I always just called Amy) got married and she specifically said “I don’t care what you call me, but please don’t call me mom because I am not your mom and don’t call me your stepmom because I am mean and I don’t want people to think I am mean”. I know where she was coming from though because her stepmom was evil (she favored her children over her stepchildren). I have to say though, she was never an evil stepmom, in fact her and I are closer than my mother and I. Thanks for sharing and maybe you can change the stigma around stepmoms! 😉 Cassie from Mommy, RN

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I could not agree more on this and seriously there needs to be more films and books on how cool step-moms are 🙂 I sure liked the tag “the Stepmom who saved the day” 😉 What needs to be emphasised upon is “Mom” not if its step or stairs !! Children grow up listening to these evil stories of stepmoms and its upto us elders, to let them know that not everyone is like that and besides those are just stories in the first place. I think nowadays our generation realises this more and hopefully in a few years we can hope to see a disney step-mom super hero film 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. […] I met you at kindergarten orientation almost two years ago. Your daughter was in Little Miss’s class at school and dance. I introduced myself and Little Miss told you who I was. Yet, on the first day of school you ignored me when I said hello to you. You made me feel invisible by addressing both of my step kids by name and saying nothing to me. After the kid’s told me she was one of their mommy’s friends, I understood what was going on now. You now think you know me. I’m the evil stepmother. […]

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s