The Struggle is Real

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Every day brings a new struggle. When it has to do with the kids, I usually over think the entire situation. I think it’s because when they were younger hubby’s ex wife would text him all the time telling him all things we were doing wrong, and it would give ME huge anxiety. “You need to do something with little miss’s hair, it looks like you haven’t even touched it in days.” “Make sure they are brushing their teeth twice a day! They are going to get cavities!” “You should quit smoking, the kids would like to have a father there to raise them and not dead!”

CLEARLY, we make sure all of these things are taken care of.
1. We aren’t idiots.
2. How about talking with him instead of barking orders like he is a child of yours.
3. Little miss’s hair is always taken care of now, by me, and only me.
4. Obviously, smoking isn’t a big issue for you anymore since you and your husband smoke now. The kids asked why their clothes from your house smell funny….yeah that was a fun conversation to tip toe around.

I use to take all of those things very personally, and as you can see, I get very defensive. I’ve been working on not letting it always get to me. But I get all mama bear and want to defend my family.

My hubby is a kick ass dad. When I was growing up you didn’t see many dads out there playing with their kids, let alone taking them to school and picking them up. Hubby does it all. He will take over the household chores if I’m overwhelmed, he will come up with and make dinner if I can’t seem to find a recipe to please everyone, he will do homework and bath time, and the whole time he is making the kids laugh and smile He is a GREAT father and husband. I feel like I won the jackpot sometimes 😊

Teamwork. It’s how a marriage SHOULD be. Not one person in control of it all, bossing the others around. We communicate instead of yelling. These are tools I came into this relationship with. I watched my parent’s marriage fall apart with constant fighting and yelling and little to no communication. I was not about to have that happen to us.

I guess today was a bit of a venting session. I’m kinda all over the place, but after getting it all out, I feel a lot better!

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11 thoughts on “The Struggle is Real

      • Well give yourself a hug and a pat on the back because she is the loser in the end, I guarantee you …. children grow fast so long as they aren’t allowed to play one against the other, they make their own decisions. My eldest daughter was married last year and her natural father gave her away. I was escorted into the church just ahead of the maids and the bride by her best male friend to make me special. Her stepmum and stepdad sat side by side with her father and I in the front together once he had performed his part and given her away. That was what she wanted – as she said ‘I’ve got one big chaotic family and I love you all’. She made her own mind up and your little sweethearts have already done the same so woe betide those double standards – it won’t be long before the children point it out to her.

        Liked by 1 person

      • And I expect you were worried …. I know my daughter was but actually we all share one thing – we all love her so no blood was spilled, in fact the memory sharing was wonderful. perhaps the fact that your parents are divorced has given you the real insight you so clearly have into what you need to be as a stepmum.

        Liked by 1 person

      • There isn’t a handbook to help with the situation any more than there is on walking into a blended family. You might be just the girl to write those books down the line 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You absolutely should keep that dream in the forefront of your mind. From what I have seen so far you are VERY well placed to write it and now that you tell me you yourself have been through divorce as a child of the marriage – you have the 360 on the issues 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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