Adding on to our family of 4 has always been a goal for us. We have always wanted to have a baby of our own. One that looked like both of us 🙂
We have waited this long for many reasons, one of them being the kids were going through a lot of transitions at their mom’s house so we thought adding another huge transition wouldn’t be helpful to them. No big deal. We get to focus on them and adjust to this new blended lifestyle.
Now the time has come. Woo hoo! So we thought we would talk to the kids about it. Now they have a half brother already so our initial thought was they are going to be super excited. Well, that was 50% true. Little man was THRILLED! He had a huge smile, gave me a big hug and promised he would be the best big brother. Little miss didn’t have the same reaction. She’s the baby in our family, and she plays the roll very well sometimes. She’s got her daddy wrapped around her glittery little finger. (It’s adorable, and I fully support it. I might have even given her tips.)
So little miss got this sad look on her face and I asked her how she felt about having a baby brother or sister, tears fell down her cheeks and she said “but you won’t pay attention to me anymore, that’s what happened when mommy had [insert half brother’s name]!” Now I know that’s not true. I told her of course mommy gave baby brother a lot of attention, he is a BABY. Babies need lots of love and attention, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you the same or we don’t care.
It broke my heart to hear her say that. I know their mother gives them attention, maybe not as much because hey there is a new baby involved here, but how do you explain that to a 6 year old?
It took her a few days but she came around to understanding. She knows she can come to us with any questions. I also told her I was going to need her help, because I mean she’s the pro right? She helped her mommy with baby brother so I’m going to need all the help she can give me.
I’m trying not to feed into little miss’s anger with not getting enough attention, deep down I know she’s just worried about her place, but she will see that her place will always be the same and I know little man will do an amazing job to reassure her of that!