I have always struggled with other people’s judgements, assumptions, and misconceptions of what a step mother really is/does. It feels like a taboo subject no one knows how to talk about, so they dance around the topic.
Yes, I am raising two children like they are my own. I have since day one. This was my choice and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Yes, I completely understand I’m not their “biological mother”, but what does DNA have to do with unconditional love and support that might be viewed as “motherly instincts”?
No, we do not force them to call me mom, but they do that on their own free will. I use to correct them when they were younger because their brains were still trying to understand the difference. They are 6 and 8 now and understand who mom, dad, step mom, and step dad are. They still choose to call me mom, and that’s okay.
It’s a comfort to them. I do motherly things, I have motherly instincts. I am the tear catcher, boo-boo fixer, and special birthday cake maker. My favorite parts of the day are when I’m cooking or cleaning and one of them comes up, wraps their arms around me and says “I love you, mama.” Totally out of the blue, and 100% sincere. From the mouth of babes…😊
Yes, I will be apart of the big things in their lives. Why wouldn’t I be? Wouldn’t you be sad if one of your parents weren’t at a baseball game or ballet recital? Or even senior prom or your wedding? If they want me there, I am always there. Always. They know that. The munchkins can always count on me.
Take away all the sterotypes, (Thanks, Disney) step mothers are sensitive too. We have feelings. We have very strong feelings or we wouldn’t be in the life we chose to be in. We are strong women who choose love over DNA. We choose our children’s growth and happiness over our very own sometimes.
We are strong women. There is no need to judge us.