Back To Bio Mom’s House They Go

The munchkins going back to their mom’s house use to be hard for me. We spend Sunday through Wednesday together, and sometimes it’s just the 3 of us when hubby is working. (I do not work those days so I do the school pick ups, pack the lunches, pack snacks, play games, make dinner, go over homework, volunteer at the school, ect.) I love being able to give them my undivided attention, but when they leave a piece of me will leave with them. It’s really hard.

We don’t have children of our own but one day, hopefully soon, we will. We didn’t want to rush things after we got married. The munchkins had so much going on in their lives and we didn’t want to throw in something else, so we’ve waited to expand our family.

I worry about them when they are gone. I worry if they are getting enough attention. Every time they come back to our house they are starving for attention and it breaks my heart. Their step siblings are all older and unfortunately they pick up their step siblings bad habits. How do you even begin to deal with that? I’m always at a loss of words when they come back with habits that they know are not allowed at our house. Like you can’t watch tv, play video games, play with your iPad ALL day, we do not allow that. You can also not eat junk food and drink pop for every meal. Also the words they use are not meant to come out of a 6 and 8 year olds mouth, they aren’t swearing but just not appropriate.

I know we have no control over what goes on at their mother’s house, but how do we handle correcting these bad habits without worrying about stepping on toes a.k.a. a total meltdown from their mother? Any advice would help!


5 thoughts on “Back To Bio Mom’s House They Go

  1. I’ve read that the same way kids learn to follow a different set of rules at school and at home, they learn and adapt different rules at bio-mom and bio-dad’s house. I say stand your ground at your place and don’t cut them any slack if they’re not meeting your expectations! They will adapt and even if they view it as you being hard on them, they will appreciate the discipline in the future!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I second that. They eventually adapt to different environments and if you make the time at your house fun to be doing other things than ipads and tv all day (parks, board games, laser tag, etc), they won’t even notice. Exhausting but good 🙂 in the long run your house will give them valuable tools for their future, even if it’s not as always the most fun (read “slack”) place to be… but down time just hanging out being veggies together can be okay in moderation too I think.
      Good on ya for waiting to introduce another child. We waited 5 years because that’s what worked best for our situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so tough transitioning from home to home. When my Steppy moved in with us permanently she thought we were so strict… Chores?? What?? She’s 13.

    We aren’t strict… Just bring good parents setting actual boundaries and teaching her important lessons for her future.

    It’s tough being a stepmom sometimes. Balancing life.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think with any split time situation, this will be a struggle at times – I know it is for us. Especially with the diet/video games/language stuff you mentioned above. As others commented, everyone will adapt and live to see another day. As long as your household rules remain consistent, everyone will get on board, even if it’s not the most “fun” 100% of the time. As screen time is a constant battle with a twelve year old boy, when we say it’s time to turn it off and take a break, we also offer for him to come hang out with us, and we’ll play a card or board game, cook something, etc. or if we are just hanging out watching a movie or something, at least he can watch it with us, instead of holing up in his room staring at his phone or xbox.

    Liked by 1 person

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