Routine and Sacrifice

    Let’s start off with the basics. I’m a 28 year old wife and step mother of two beautiful children who are 6 and 8 years old (1st and 3rd grade). My husband has joint legal and physical custody of them both. We have the kids every week, split with their bio mom and step dad. We are very fortunate to only live 20 minutes away, so being apart of their everyday lives since they were 18 months and 2 years old is a normal routine for everyone.
        Routine. That is such a key word in the way I live my life now. Without routine, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t of made it as long as we have. I am thankful for our weekly routine, and it really helped the kids when they were little to KNOW where they were going to be each day of the week. No stress for them, no worrying, they had a routine and we stuck to it.
     Now, it wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns. The beginning of our relationship was very crazy. Dealing with his ex wife was not easy by any means, but can I blame her for reacting so harshly? A younger woman was swooping in and raising her 2 babies with the man she has known most of her whole life. I understand that must of been a hard pill to swallow, and we have climbed mountains since, but it took a lot of give and take. Mostly me giving and her taking. Sacrifices I was willing to make, because I loved this man, and I loved his children.
     Sacrifices. Another key word in my life. I have sacrificed so much, with such little acknowledgment. I knew that though. I knew that would happen. If I learned anything in my googling during nap time, I learned I would make sacrifices as a step mother and rarely see a reward. Boy, they weren’t kidding though. I use to get so bent out of shape when I didn’t get a thank you for doing a favor, or switching my work schedule around to pick up the kids because the ex wife couldn’t do it. My husband always says thank you and reminds me how appreciated I am by our whole family, but I wanted to hear it from her. I’ve given up hope on a sincere thank you from her, and that’s okay.
     I feel the real reward is watching the kids grow into such amazing little people and know “Hey! I taught them that!”, “They really do listen!”. It’s hard in the beginning when they are so young, but to see them grow and learn is truly a reward within itself.


6 thoughts on “Routine and Sacrifice

  1. WOW this really spoke to me… I can identify with every piece of this! Question- how do you split time every week? Just curious what you’ve found works best. We’re trying to sort that out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have four children, but my oldest has a different father. We have joint custody of her. When he first married her I was so nervous. I prayed every night that this woman would love my daughter and care for her as her own when I am not around. She is wonderful. And it sounds like you are too. She genuinely loves my child,and I never have to worry about if she is being treated fairly. You are doing a wonderful job. You are a selfless person, and there should be more people like you.

    Liked by 1 person

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